You Must Be Mad.

You must be mad

You must be mad
to think that I could pretend
nothing has happened

You. Must. Be mad

You must be mad
to think that after the deep cuts,
low punches and dark threats
I could pretend that
you still are who you once were

to me.

You. Must. Be. Mad

You must be mad
to think forgiveness equals forgetting
– only God does that.

You must be mad
to think I would let you in
over and over and over again,
not counting the cost,
not drawing conclusions,
not making my bed.

You. Must. Be. Mad.

Too many times have I looked away,
Made excuses and
pretended things would change.

Too many times have I let you use me,
To find happiness,
be salvation,
redemption,
affirmation and
sole meaning to life.

No more.

You must be mad
to think I could’ve survived under that pressure,
Must be mad
to think I could’ve stayed under that yoke.

It is FOR FREEDOM I’ve been set free.
So I will love you – from a distance.
Pray for you – every day.

But you must be MAD to think,
That I could let you,
Into my life ever again.